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31.10.2016, 13:28 | #1 |
Dabei seit: 09/2016
Beiträge: 37
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Die Angst vor dem Schreiben
I'm trying to write a song
but there's something not quite right I can't get in touch with my mind can't get me satisfied cause I think there is some wall separating me from the world and to get behind it all gotta learn to fly and fall |
31.10.2016, 13:43 | #2 |
gesperrt
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Is English your mother language?
Good. You begin to mishap in this strophe I can't get in touch with my mind You have to take care of the metric structure I'm trying to write a song but there's something not quite right can't get in touch with my own mind can't get me satisfied because Pronunciaton lies here on the first verb I think there is some hidden wall, separating me from all(try this metric caused) the world, to get behind it all gotta learn to fly and fall My impression Gem edit: Gotta to change: Got mean to learn and fly and fall |
Lesezeichen für Die Angst vor dem Schreiben |
Stichworte |
gedicht, song, versuch |
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